Run to your shamanic hideout succour to find my soul elixir, to alleviate, to attenuate the darkness put upon me by a deceptive mirror who absorbed my light and gave me back a canker of acrimony
Of wafts of venom put into my prisitine soul, of course the claws of a sinner would prise upon it?
Not so obvious when you are naive
But then again, wasn’t it meant to be that way? Isn’t everything meant to be the way it is?
Or did my choices make it so?
Do I truly have my free will or does God know the script?
Swirling tantilizing questions burn deep into my mind
Soul growth
Through intense pain
Or choices I made that inflicted pain on myself through another’s actions?
For what?
For I thank you, reluctantly, because everything is truly your teacher
But you can’t mimic the real, because once the projection of darkness can no longer be put upon me… Then what? The real light returns to it’s rightful place
And if you can’t kill yourself and there’s no way out? Because you had enough of yourself and everything, my failures or harsh criticism of myself… When I could not do anything about it because I was frozen, a survival strategy that enables you to defrost
What next? I am to perfect myself and discover myself and walk through all the halls of fears
I am not afraid of dieing anymore, once you’ve died a thousand deaths already
Why would I fear death?
It is simply a transition of phase from one state of consciouness or being to another
We are simply consciousness experiencing itself
Through pains to bring the diamond to fruition
The diamond of myself, worn deeply with unspeakable pain, not as a stereotypical understatement
I reclaim myself now
I follow my path
Found it within myself
Escaped your dark and dirty ways
Hidden beneath your exterior of the saviour archetype
Dubious as to your character
Although vulnerable, not to be messed with
God did not like that
The angels heard my calls
Could forsee something
To run to the woodlands for safety
Hide behind some bins
In the hills a far
To preserve myself
And my destiny in this life
Some things we will never know
Only God and the angels will know and can foresee
But just alive enough to live to tell the tale
A year on, the scent still lingers of a very traumatising experience amongst many
I upset my own soul
My baby
Myself
I utterly lost my sense of self
Which is one of the most painfulest of things I have been through amongst many things, many things, many things..
~DiosEmporium, A.V.C, 09/03/26
Dictionary
Succour ~ Assistance and support in times of hardship and distress.
Alleviate ~ make (suffering, deficiency, or a problem) less severe.
Attenuate ~ reduced in force, effect, or physical thickness.
Canker ~ malign and corrupting influence that is difficult to eradicate.
Acrimony ~ bitterness or ill feeling.
DiosEmporium 