Run to your shamanic hideout succour to find my soul elixir, to alleviate, to attenuate the darkness put upon me by a deceptive mirror who absorbed my light and gave me back a canker of acrimony

Of wafts of venom put into my prisitine soul, of course the claws of a sinner would prise upon it?

Not so obvious when you are naive

But then again, wasn’t it meant to be that way? Isn’t everything meant to be the way it is?

Or did my choices make it so?

Do I truly have my free will or does God know the script?

Swirling tantilizing questions burn deep into my mind

Soul growth

Through intense pain

Or choices I made that inflicted pain on myself through another’s actions?

For what?

For I thank you, reluctantly, because everything is truly your teacher

But you can’t mimic the real, because once the projection of darkness can no longer be put upon me… Then what? The real light returns to it’s rightful place

And if you can’t kill yourself and there’s no way out? Because you had enough of yourself and everything, my failures or harsh criticism of myself… When I could not do anything about it because I was frozen, a survival strategy that enables you to defrost

What next? I am to perfect myself and discover myself and walk through all the halls of fears

I am not afraid of dieing anymore, once you’ve died a thousand deaths already

Why would I fear death?

It is simply a transition of phase from one state of consciouness or being to another

We are simply consciousness experiencing itself

Through pains to bring the diamond to fruition

The diamond of myself, worn deeply with unspeakable pain, not as a stereotypical understatement

I reclaim myself now

I follow my path

Found it within myself

Escaped your dark and dirty ways

Hidden beneath your exterior of the saviour archetype

Dubious as to your character 

Although vulnerable, not to be messed with

God did not like that

The angels heard my calls

Could forsee something

To run to the woodlands for safety

Hide behind some bins

In the hills a far

To preserve myself

And my destiny in this life

Some things we will never know

Only God and the angels will know and can foresee

But just alive enough to live to tell the tale

A year on, the scent still lingers of a very traumatising experience amongst many

I upset my own soul

My baby

Myself

I utterly lost my sense of self

Which is one of the most painfulest of things I have been through amongst many things, many things, many things..

~DiosEmporium, A.V.C, 09/03/26

Dictionary

Succour ~ Assistance and support in times of hardship and distress.

Alleviate ~ make (suffering, deficiency, or a problem) less severe.

Attenuate ~ reduced in force, effect, or physical thickness.

Canker ~ malign and corrupting influence that is difficult to eradicate.

Acrimony ~ bitterness or ill feeling.